Written By: Aubree Schenkel, Life Coach/Bridal Coach
When thinking of the vision for your wedding we often think, “Oh that’s easy, I’ve been planning it since I was old enough to say wedding,” or “I’ve got a Pinterest board for that.” Really the biggest struggle is taking your pie in the sky wedding vision and bringing it down to reality.
Executing a vision is all about:
- Being clear about what you want.
- Building positive habits and behaviors that help you gain traction.
- Doing them consistently until you’ve accomplished what you set out to do.
- Taking the first bite.
- Taking breaks and being present.
So, let’s take a step back and figure out how you truly visualize and execute to create the best day of your life.
Practice taking 5 minutes each day during your engagement to visualize the wedding process and your wedding day and how you want each to go. Focus on the positive. Focus on how you want to feel, look, be, act. Focus on the love that you and your partner share and how you are easily able to work through wedding challenges and grow closer together through the process.
2) Put Pen to Paper
A Harvard Business study showed that those who write down their goals are 20 times more likely to achieve them than those who visualize their goals but do not write them down.
Start writing down what you’ve been visualizing and feeling during Step 1. “I want to feel [this way] during my wedding planning process. I want to feel [this way] during my wedding day.” “I want my day to look like…” Then reverse engineer this. What is it going to take for you to accomplish these things, to feel, look, be, act that way during wedding planning or during the day of your wedding? Write down who you will need to become, what you will need to do, which people and resources you will need to help you.
3) The “To Do” list
Every wedding has to have one. Take what you’ve written down in step 2 and create a “to do” list. Break your list out into tasks (pick the flowers, choose the photographer, etc.) and behaviors (lose 15 pounds, do one nice thing for my fiancé each month). If you have behaviors on your “to do list” you’re going to have to get specific on what actually needs to be the “to do.” I want to lose 15 pounds turns into I will wake up at 6 am and do 20 minutes of cardio on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
What will you do each day, week, month consistency to ensure you are being the person you want to be on your wedding day, doing the things you want to do, surrounded by the people you love, and enjoying the day you envisioned for yourself and spouse-to-be.
4) Take The First Bite. “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”
You have your well thought out list, now let’s execute. The best way to make progress is to take at least one form of action every day. When you feel like it, do it, otherwise you may miss your window of motivation or opportunity. More of a routine type of person? Set up a routine to ensure you are taking action such as picking one thing from your “to do” list morning, noon, and night to get it accomplished. If you have to choose the cake and wedding invitations, and slim the guest list, choose just one for the day and either get your cake tasting scheduled, pick your Etsy designer and email them, or start hacking the list one person at a time. Do one thing! Chances are that one thing will lead to the next thing and then the next.
5) Take Breaks & Be Present
When taking action on your wedding vision don’t forget the most important part, being mindful and being in the moment. Remember to put things in perspective, remember to enjoy the journey, take some time for you, and take some time for your spouse-to-be.
I’m almost certain that every person who sets a vision for their wedding does not envision the stress, anxiety, craziness, that can come with it. My advice to you, don’t let it creep up. Stick to your vision and when you’re not aligned with your vision, take a step back. Remember, you have a choice, you have time, it’s you and your spouse-to-be that matters, not the flavor of the cake.
Planning a wedding is such an exciting time. With the excitement can also come a whole host of other feelings, conversations, and unsolicited pressures that brides and couples may not be used to.
Aubree Schenkel is a trained life coach with a Masters degree in Psychology. She specializes in Bridal Coaching and Pre-marital Coaching. She sets out to give individuals the tools they need to enjoy the wedding process and their wedding day: productive time management skills, effective communication and conflict resolution skills, tackling mind-set challenges, mindfulness practices, and much more.